Goodbye
by LadyRaye
Summary: Harry's thoughts run rampid through his head. Life has its lessons to teach. Was this part of his? Song Fic.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did then what this song fic is talking about would never have happened. I don't own the song either. Evanescence owns every part of it. I just borrowed things.  
  
A/N: I know this has been done before but for my own reasons, I had to do one myself. I'm not going to reveal why I had to do this but to say the least, I know what Harry's going through. Please don't flame me for this. If you don't like it.fine.  
  
"My Immortal"  
  
Harry sat in his room in Gryffindor tower, staring out towards the Whomping Willow. The pelting rain and cold of the night matched his attitude. He was tired. Tired of having to go on alone. Thoughts continued to rush into his head. He could've done something. It should've been him. Shaking his head, he knew that's not what anyone would've wanted. No one wanted anything of that sort. Not even.Harry quickly turned just as he thought he heard something. He'd been hearing things ever since that night. Things haunted him.  
  
i'm so tired of being here  
  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
and if you have to leave  
  
i wish that you would just leave  
  
because your presence still lingers here  
  
and it won't leave me alone  
  
He didn't want the feeling in his stomach. Why did things have to happen to him? Why couldn't he have been a normal boy, even if normality was over rated. Clenching his fist he damned the feeling of loneliness he had inside. Screw the feelings inside. He didn't need to know what it was going to be like. He had gotten a chance for another life. One away from the Dursleys and that was taken away. Just like his parents.  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Every night, he heard the screaming. Every night he dreamt of what he could've had. But the darkness continually stole it away. He had stopped sleeping. Trying to get away from the nightmares. Everything plagued him now. Everything reminded him of what was stolen. Why did he have to be the 'Boy who Lived?'. Why couldn't he be the normal one? Why did he have to pay for what some idiot, who considered half-blood inferior when he was one himself, did to thousands?  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me  
  
He would've had someone next to him. Three people. Looking into the window as it fogged up from his harsh warm breath against the bitter cold, he could see them. See their smiling faces. Their bright eyes. He could see them waving at him. He longed to be with them so much. Longed for a father's embrace, a mother's touch, and an Uncles (because that was what he was besides a Godfather) advice. Longed for the feeling of comfort. Sure, he had that here, but it wasn't the same anymore. Ron and Hermione. His two best friends, what could they do that Dumbledore couldn't? Nothing. Nothing was working now. Harry looked down to his hand.it was bleeding.  
  
you used to captivate me  
  
by your resonating light  
  
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
Feeling the cold rain drops falling on his hand, he looked up and realized what he had done. He'd smashed the faces away. His eyes soon became like the clouds, pouring down rain drops, or tears as most muggles called them. He hated having to continue on. Why? Why was there a reason to? There was nothing here for him at the moment. Everything had been torn away.  
  
these wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Lupin. That was a reason wasn't it? Ron. He counted to didn't he? Hermione. Hermione and her sweet, loving, school obsessed self. She mattered right? Of course they did. And they tried fixing things. But he couldn't let them. There were things in life that were supposed to teach you things. What was this supposed to teach? What was he supposed to take from this? Was it the fact that he would always be alone? Or would he be?  
  
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me  
  
In a sense, Harry knew he'd be alone. He was bound to be. He was supposed to overcome the inner demons. He'd learned that. He knew that harboring feelings never worked. As the tears continued to roll down his cheeks, Harry rubbed at his scar. A sign. Was that what it was? Was this a sign that showed what had been taken away from him? Was this sign supposed to make him be alone forever? Who would be with him in his times of need?  
  
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
and though you're still with me  
  
i've been alone all along  
  
Harry knew at that moment. He had to let go. Letting the parchment fall to the floor, he stood up. As the lighting in the background hit, he turned away from the window, from his past and he looked towards his future. He'd be alone.everyone was at one point or another. The point was you had to move on. You had to keep believing someone would always be there. Quietly, Harry walked from the room and on the parchment he had dropped read one single word.  
  
Goodbye. 


End file.
